Monday, August 14, 2006

2006 is all about

the

LESBIANS!


That’s right, folks! You heard it here first. I’m all about the lesbians…I think. I won’t reveal much about the woman who won over my heart last night because I’m in Uganda, and, well, homosexuality is illegal here. Even though it is rare for legal action to be taken out, there is quite a bit of mud slinging that goes on:

Gay Shock
OUT LOUD AND PROUD! (Really?)


is more easily said than done in some places than others. The above segment ran in one of Uganda’s newspapers last week. (I use the term “newspaper” loosely. It ran in The Red Pepper, more of a tabloid than a legitimate newspaper. Reading the Pepper was a guilt pleasure of mine when I was in Uganda before. I never felt comfortable reading it in the public’s view. Maybe that was an indicator that I should’ve put it down.) Not only is the feature mean spirited, it’s just tacky, and the writer has not corrected his bad habit (which is oh so common in Uganda) of writing “leaving” when he really means “living”. If nothing else, the article has people talking about the issue. That’s good. Isn’t it?

Back to my new GIRLFRIEND… Who has no clue that she’s my GIRLFRIEND… Because she, herself, has a GIRLFRIEND… GIRLFRIEND!

This woman is a celebrity of sorts in Uganda. She’s been written about numerous times in the tabloids because she was a popular woman in Kampala, and her private affairs were not hidden from the public. I bumped into her for the first time on Saturday night and was won over by her dynamic smile. We happened to be in the same place at the same time on Sunday evening, too. (Yes, a sign.) This time, she introduced me to her girlfriend, who is not completely unfortunate looking. In fact, her girlfriend is beautiful, and she was wearing an extremely sexy ensemble.

Two strikes against me:
1. She’s not attracted to men.
2. She has a sexy, beautiful girlfriend.

That’s only two strikes. I’m entitled to one more. I still have a chance, right? It’s my own, personal Chasing Amy.

My new crush and I had a long conversation about nothing in particular, but I did not want it to end.

Grace Adler said it best to Nadine, Vince’s hag who hated Will because she was secretly in love with Vince: “You will never have him.”

In the end, we exchanged phone numbers, and she promised to give me a call.

You Will Never

”You will never have [her]”

1 comment:

Chanakin said...

As a kid, I had Art Linkletter's book "Kids Say the Darndest Things". One submission was from a teacher who submitted a card given to her by one of her students after she announced her retirement. It said:

"Sorry you are living."

Chasing Amy.

Wasn't a line from Silence of the Lambs... "we covet what we see every day".....

Not that you'll skin her or anything, of course.