Monday, August 27, 2007

With a Purpose?

On Friday night, I was invited to attend a fashion show at one of Kampala's hotels that was being held to benefit and bring awareness to Aidchild, an organisation that provides care, support and education to orphans living with AIDS who do not have the support of extended families.

It was an event put together by Africa Tumefika whose motto is to Touch a Life Thru Fashion n' Design.

If I had to give the show a title, I'd call it

An Evening of Really Bad Shoes.
Too big. To shiny. Too much. Too thick. Too bad.

They really ought to fix that before taking the show on the road.

Oh, it was a really classy night.
What does one wear that's aprapos for a party that's sponsored by a fortified wine?

If I were to give the show a subtitle, I'd have to also call it a night of really bad photography because I didn't get any good shots. However, I got enough to give you the gist of what went on.

African Astronaut Urban Space Wear

Remember how cute/sexy Britney Spears was before she went bat-shit crazy? Let me take you back to a more innocent time when she was dancing on Mars, encountering astronauts and Oops!...She did it again:

Astronaut: Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have.

Britney: Oh, it's beautiful! But wait a minute...isn't this?

Astronaut: Yeah. Yes it is.

Britney: But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end.

Astronaut: Well, baby, I went down and got it for you.

Britney: Ah! You shouldn't have.

If you saw anyone walking around in this, wouldn't you think he was homeless? It's an omukeeka with a hole in it. Now, if I saw a homeless man walking around in this, I'd think he was quite clever, creatively finding a way to cover his nakedness.

I think the woven bag makes a great environmental statement: We don't need buveera sacks. A sack like that is great for market days; they are quite inexpensive and reusable.

A look for the modern man in Uganda... The announcer suggested this look for 'ushers'. He kept making reference to usher during this model's trip on the runway. The only ushers that came to my mind were the one's at the Cineplex. I guess it would be cool to have movie theater ushers take my ticket and help me find my seat dressed as a primary school pupil dancing at a music festival.

Did they have a fitting before the show? (Not to mention a hair stylist... but I guess I just did.) How many sizes too large is the skirt for this woman's waist? 3? 4? Simply put: This outfit does not fit a woman's body. It seems an overt attempt by the designer to sell sex, but she missed the mark. Too much is on display--shoulders, midriff, and legs. The woman's natural curves are not accentuated by the cut of the design; it's very not sexy.

This was described as 'African Urban Wear'. So I guess anything baggy can be givin the tag urban wear. But to be honest with you, this reminds me so much of what people where I'm from (an oh, so very rural area) would wear to go duck hunting. With all the excess space, one could store his game and easily transport it out of the swamp.

The fashion show turned into a lil' miss beauty pageant when this model stepped out. Come on! This design is straight out of the 'creative wear' category of a Miss Jinja, Miss KIU, or (as it appears) Miss Kawempe pageant. It is so unworthy of a designer with the talent of Latif. How 'uncreative wear'!

By far, the stand out designer of the show was Xenson, a young designer from Kamapala. Despite going on and on about all the awards the man has won, his portion of the show was the most creative, most interesting and best choreographed. I don't have any photos of his designs because I was on my way out (the show was soooooo long and just a lot of the same over and over) when he was announced. My friends and I headed back because one of my friends is a friend of his friend and really wanted to see his creations. It was worth the return. He made a a good show and outshone his colleagues.

Giving more meaning to the phrase:
fashion conscious.

Derek Zoolander School For Kids Who Can't Read Good

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Traffic, Boobs and Caterpillars

I've been having much more traffic than normal on my blog these days, so I check on the referrals to see where everyone was coming from. I have two fellow bloggers to thank for referring to and linking to my blog in recent posts:

Dave from, one of my all-time favorite blogs. I can often be seen around town sporting a Bad Monkey t-shirt; it's a Dave creation.


Baz from, one of my new favorite blogs. I've been a fan of Baz's writing for years. If you aren't already a regular reader, check out his blog.

I also noticed that others have found my blog in search of boobs, both Ugandan and bridesmaids'.

(Speaking of nudity--been doing that a lot lately...frustration--a friend introduced me to a blog written by this porn star. It's truly, truly interesting. The writer began the blog before breaking into the adult film biz and has chronicled the journey. Earlier entries gave more insight on personal life and thoughts, but now it's all films, calendars and meet and greets. Occasional words are wisdom are offered there is no shortage of photos. Not for everyone.)

Oh, and a couple wanted to know about caterpillars in swimming pool.

Just so you know, they are not allowed.

On a more personal note (It was brought to my attention yesterday by a friend that I rarely make reference to my personal life on my blog), I started back to work today. I know this might sound sick, but I really enjoyed it. I've been on break for almost two months. I'm well-rested (mentally and phyically) and ready to get back to being a productive contributor to society. It was great seeing most of my colleagues again and meeting the new ones. Right now I'm really excited about starting up again.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Then Again…

“[I]t's not just the books under fire now that worry me. It is the books that will never be written. The books that will never be read. And all due to the fear of censorship. As always, young readers will be the real losers.” — Judy Blume

You can measure the greatness of an author of children’s fiction by how frequently her/his books are banned. Heaven forbid we challenge young readers! I just finished reading one of my favorite books from when I was, like, 13: Then Again, Maybe I Won’t. This book demystified wet dreams for me when no one would. Apparently, it’s openness about body changes during puberty is one of the reasons it is a frequently-banned book:

“Some parents fear their children reading about the things young adults think about--sex, mastrubation, periods, etc.”

Oh, the horror!!! It’s not the hormones that make them think about these things…It’s the Judy Blume books.

Infact, Judy Blume was the #2 most challenged author in the United States between 1990 and 2004. Yes, the author of such children’s classics as Super Fudge and Blubber is being banned where the freedom to have access to such books should be embraced. Blubber was one of my 5th Grade favorites. Not sure why it makes the list of The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books; however, we loved it because the kids in the book use the work bitch. Five of Judy Blume’s books are on the list of The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books: Forever (8), Blubber (32), Deenie (46), Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret (62), and Tiger Eyes (78).

What was Judy thinking when she wrote a book where teenagers have sex, and nothing bad happens to them?

Get your egg timers ready!

Delaying washing the uncircumcised penis for at least 10 minutes after sex significantly lowers the risk of HIV infection.


“I’ll set the time.”

10 minutes.




On the verge of absurd...

[W]hat Pastor Martin Ssempa described as "a well-orchestrated effort by homosexuals to intimidate the government"

Define intimidation.

I must say that I find it ironic, that the group so hatefully and vehemently persecuting homosexuals in Uganda includes the term rainbow in its name. Do they know what the rainbow symbolizes to the gay community?

Maybe Pastor Ssempa should find Dorothy on the yellow-brick road, accompany her to the Emerald City and ask the wizard for a brain, a heart and some courage.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Playin' Safe

I just don't get it. Apparently, Mukono district has more resources than they know what to do with, so they are coming up with bull-shit tasks for the criminal investigation chief to do to keep him occupied. A school teacher goes to a "beauty contest" that turns into something similar to burlesque theater... So? He's photographed "standing next to a scantily-dressed" girl... And? "His fingers were close to the girl’s groin..." Your point is?

The RDC of Mukono asserts that the teacher "dented the district’s image." Did he? Did he dent the district's image? It is also said that he sent a wrong message to his pupils. Were they in the audience to see him do this? Should they have been? Who was responsible for them?

Can't a man live a private life? If anything, I think he was sending a positive message of safe sex. Come on. In this time of HIV and other STDs, isn't it safer to have a man just dancing with a woman than having unprotected sex with her?

In other, more entertaining news: is reporting that Kristen Bell will be joining Heroes during Season 2: NBC is adding former "Veronica Mars" star Kristen Bell to the cast of "Heroes." Peacock has snagged Bell for a key multiepisode arc of its sophomore sensation. Casting is a major coup for NBC since Bell -- who plays the title character in Judd Apatow's upcoming "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" -- was reportedly being sought for several TV gigs, including a part on ABC's "Lost." Bell will make her first "Heroes" appearance in October. She'll play Elle, a character described as a sexy, mysterious young lady who has ties to the supposed death of Peter, H.R.G.'s past and the future of Claire. Elle will kick off her arc by committing a serious crime, though it's unclear whether she's good or bad. "This was not easy to pull off," said "Heroes" creator-exec producer Tim Kring. "But since we're an ensemble show, with many arcs playing out through the year, we found a way to jump into a small window in (Bell's) schedule." Universal Media Studios prexy Katherine Pope also hinted that landing Bell wasn't easy, noting that "many studios (were) chasing her in both film and TV" and that she was happy that Bell "chose to star in our show." In addition to her gig in the Apatow pic, Bell co-stars in the Weinstein Co.'s upcoming "Fanboys" and supplies one of the voices in the 2008 animated Fox feature "Sheepish." She also has another regular role on a network skein, voicing the narrator in CW's new drama "Gossip Girl."

How excited am I? I LOVE Kristen Bell. How many times do I make Veronica Mars references per week? How many people have I trapped and persuaded to watch Reefer Madness. OMG: and Heroes is my new favorite show. What a perfect marriage!!! Apparently, Ms. B is quite hot these days in Hollywood, with both film and television offers coming at her left and right. She's also great on stage, able to sing and dance.

I'm really excited about Season 2 of Heroes!!!

Veronica Mars

is a marshmallow.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Let Me…

Entertain You!

You know how I’m into strippers, right?

• The first profession I ever wanted was that of a stripper.
• I think Flashdance is one of the best inspirational films ever made. In fact, I had a quote from the film engraved on the back of my iPod.
• The book I’m currently highly recommending (see sidebar) is Strip Tease by Carl Hiassen (still have to see the Demi Moore film).
• I used to reenact scenes from Gypsy for my mother (strangely, being an otherwise very conservative woman, she encouraged this) in the living room.
• I’m still a huge Britney Spears fan.

My latest stripper crush/infatuation is Ali Larter as Las Vegas-internet stripper, Niki Sanders, in the great new television series, Heroes.

To me, Ali is best known for her role as Brooke Taylor Windham in the motion picture, Legally Blonde, but you might also remember her from the films Final Destination or Varsity Blues. During the commentary reel on the Legally Blonde dvd, Reese Witherspoon refers to Ali as “phenomenal” and “gorgeous”. Reese also comments, “It wasn’t hard, like, having to, you know, moon over her, you know, be all starry-eyed ‘cause she’s so beautiful… She smiles and it’s just like a tooth paste commercial. I was,like, stunned. I couldn’t stop looking at her.”

I just finished watching the first half of season one of Heroes, and Ali’s character is my favorite. I love how she is able to switch back and for between the concerned-mother stripper, and the hard, super-strong psycho bitch, Jessica. Both of the personalities are flawed, but there is a strength in both that is intriguing. Yeah, Ali’s also beautiful, but her character is so complex and she plays her so well. I sometimes lose interest in the other story lines and anticipate a return to Niki & co.

Stripper poles… There are just not enough stripper poles.

I wonder how my landlady would react if I had one installed my bedroom?

Pick up your apples girls and back to the trees!
Bon soir, monsieur et monsieur!
Je m'appelle Gypsy Rose Lee.
And that concludes my entire performance in French...
I've been too busy learning Greek!
Where were you last night?
Some men accused me of being an ecdysiast.
Do you know what that means? Do you?
Do you? Oh, you do!
Aha! He's embarrassed!
Don't be embarrassed... I like a man without hair!
An ecdysiast is one who or that which
sheds its skin... in vulgar paroles: a stripper
But I'm not a stripper!
At these prices I'm an ecdysiast!
And if you're real good,
I'll make you feel good.
I want you spirit to climb...
Let me entertain you
and well have a real good time, yes, sir!
We'll have...
A real good time!

What a feeling!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Not Cool.

Yes, I’m one of those people described as concerning [himself] with worthless diversionary crap such as Lindsay Lohan's latest bust or one of [Britney Spears] marriages, pregnancies or fashion blunders. It’s pretty obvious. I cannot deny it.

On the local front: Yesterday morning, while out for a run, I was passed by Bebe Cool and Bafudde, cell phone to his hear with one hand, and the other hand was gesturing wildly, like he was in an argument with someone. Who was steering the vehicle? Good question. Unless Mr. Cool has a very talented penis and lil’ Bebe was at the wheel, I guess no one was. Jackass.

All those in favor of not being knocked by a car driven by someone’s penis... get the hell outta his way.

Ever heard of Lance Garrison?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

No one should be left alone to dress and to accessorize.

I’ve been MIA for a while, and there is so much I feel like I need to express. While I cannot sum up my ideas concisely through a monologue from a made-for-television movie, I can use a few photos, graphics and links accompanied by random spewings from my mind—nothing really different from my usual post. Here goes:

• What get’s me going:

It’s no secret that I’m training for November’s MTN marathon. I really want to go the distance, but it’s no simple task to get out the door and get the necessary training done. A great soundtrack is a must. No, Eye of the Tiger is not on my ipod, but the sound track to three hit Broadway musicals are:

Who knew that one could find athletic motivation to go the extra mile from songs of a Nubian princess slave falling for an Egyptian army captain, a blonde from Malibu fighting for love and finding confidence in herself, and the evolution of a little green girl? This combination gets a big thumbs-up from me. It’s like books-on-tape…only FUNNER!

• Librarian love:

I finally got around to reading the latest and final Harry Potter novel. J.K. created an amazing world and spun a great tale that captivated much of the world. I admit to being in tears for the most part of the last 120 pages of The Deathly Hallows. I’m happy I finished the book before anyone could spoil it for me. I don’t like to find out about endings ahead of time; I like to discover them for myself.

Librarians… One of the women in my life that I adore is now a full-fledged librarian working in a children’s library in Boston. She and her colleagues got some special praise for a special project they did in conjunction with the latest HP release. Go Beth!

Beth in her own words: I'm a librarian, and I've killed a goat with my bare hands.

• More on the Chicks:

My girl, Nicole, lives in no-Chicks-land: Abilene, Texas. I blogged recently about the Dixie Chicks documentary, Shut Up and Sing. The girls are still struggling in Texas, home of the Chicks and the one they don’t adore, George W. Bush. Well, it seems that the powers that be in Abilene feel they should determine what people are allowed to watch and what they are not. You cannot rent or purchase Shut Up and Sing in this conservative, freedom-loving corner of the great state of Texas.

• Groovin:

There is a new night club in the new shopping center in Ntinda. The signpost by the road doesn’t do the club justice. I thought it would be just another hole-in-the-wall place, fun but nothing exciting. When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong. I was wrong. I had so much fun at Club Le Lui. If you’re on that side of town and feel the need to dance, don’t hesitate to make your way inside.

The look: hash chic.

Friday, August 03, 2007

I'm it

A first: I was tagged. It made me feel so popular.

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Ok, let’s begin:

1. I don’t like foods made with bananas, but I like bananas…by themselves.

2. I fell out of a tree when I was like 8 or 9 and landed on my head. I had briefly suffered from amnesia. My mother also thought that the fall caused me to demonstrate symptoms of Tourette’s syndrome because I developed what she considered a tic: I’d rapidly shake my head back and forth at any given time. I think I outgrew it.

3. Both my grandmother and one of my mother’s good friends told me on separate occasions that they are so happy, yet surprise, that I didn’t grow up to be too-bad-looking because I was a very ugly baby/infant and they were worried.

4. As a child, the first thing I ever wanted to be ‘when I grew up’ was a stripper. I think I was five or six when I saw Chippendales perform on the Donahue show, and I thought it was the greatest thing ever: dancing and taking one’s clothes off. Then I wanted to be a baker for several years. Then a popstar. Next a director—stage first, later film (even got a scholarship based on my aspirations to become a documentary filmmaker). After that it was an ethno-botanist, hence a degree in biological science. Then I wandered into education.

5. For my mother’s birthday in 1999, I took her to see Ragtime. If you’ve never read the 1975 novel, seen the play (1998 Tony Award nominee for best musical) or listened to the play’s soundtrack, I recommend you do so. There was also a movie made in 1981 based on the book. I never saw it, so I cannot recommend it.

6. The first magazine that I ever subscribed to was Rollingstone, back when Madonna was with Warren Beatty, Spin Doctors (who?) were considered to be the future of rock music, MC Hammer was big and Naomi Campbell was doing GAP ads. I was 13.

7. I believe the best way to enjoy warm, tropical water is to go skinny-dipping.

8. A perfect evening to me is good friends, great food, even better conversation and lots of laughing.

Who can I tag? I’ve never tagged before. Do I know 8 people who blog who’ve not already been tagged? Ok, I tag Nicole, Celeste (does she still have a blog?), hmmm…