Tuesday, May 01, 2007


Public holiday: no school. I got up at 6:00 to run 15K with Barbara, she's leaving for Vietnam at the end of the month, and I want to learn her running paths before goes. A little over 10K into it, we both got the runner's shits and had to find somewhere fast. Problem: It's was too early for most places to be open. Luckily, we were near a gas station with a public toilet. Problem 2: No toilet paper. You can tell who is a veteran runner because she carries spare TP in her pocket. I learn from the best.

Relationships have been occupying much of my thoughts lately. Sometimes I wish I were the kind of person who is fine alone and doesn’t mind how others are affected my actions. I try to pretend that I’m complete and social interactions are just bonuses. But that is complete rubbish. People are so important to me. I’m not the most social person, but being around people that I enjoy is a top priority to me. I changed career paths a few years ago, not because I did not enjoy the type of work I was doing, but because I didn’t enjoy the kind of people who were typically drawn to that type of work. However, people are so complicated that sometimes I wish I could be happy living a life of solitude. (I almost said, “I wish I could just move to some remote island and be a hermit.” Those who know me, know that I tried the island-thing once, and it didn’t work out for me; I was miserable.)

Lately I’ve felt as if I’ve traveled though a time warp and gone back about 14 years, back to high school: a miserable slice of my life. Teenagers can be so fickle; they’re trying to figure things out. Friendships are come and go. Anyway, there’s a person that I’ve been friends with since around November, a person I think is great and enjoy being around. We have never been BFFs, but we’d hang out occasionally, talk and have a great time. We always enjoyed seeing each other and always made it a point to have a conversation if we met while out. Then, out of nowhere, he began to avoid me. When we’d show up at the same party or other function, all I’d get would be a cold, “Hello,” and he’d move on. I just didn’t get it (still don’t). It was all very confusing. It totally felt like high school again, but we’re both 30-something.

This went on for well over a month. Well, a little over a week ago, we found ourselves at the same place at the same time again, and he came over to me and began chatting like we used to previously. I was a little taken aback, but happy that the icy treatment appeared to be ending. Kinda out of nowhere he says to me, “Kampala is not very big, and people like to talk a lot. You cannot let the things they say bother you or you will never leave you home again.” What! Where did that come from? And what did he mean by it? Is there some gossip going around about me that I’m not aware of? Is that why he wouldn’t talk to me for a month? It must be good then. I’d love to hear it. That’s my new mission: track down the rumor. Man, I hope it’s a good one. Maybe I get to be the school whore! I hope that’s my reputation. I’ve been the goodie-goodie my entire life. I found my brother’s myspace page a few weeks ago, and he blogged about me there and made a similar reference to me. I think he called me “perfect son” or something heinous like that. Being a whore would do wonders for my social life. Are we all a little stuck at 17?

After the strange conversation with my friend, I went home and put 17 Again by Eurythmics on repeat on my iTunes. That was totally how I was feeling.

I miss the friendship spoon.

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